Sesshy and the Tiger
by Kagome The Tiger
Summary: a story about, friends, slurpees, cigarettes, booze, and some major asskicking


**Sesshomaru and the Tiger Woman**

**By ATG **

**Disclaimer: i don't own futurama or inuyasha**

_A long time ago there was a strange man who had white hair and weird markings on his face, his name was sesshomaru taisho, but he got really pissed if you don't call him lord sesshomaru. One day sesshy, jaken and rin were walking through the forest when a 16 year old girl with black hair and orange streaks that resembled a tiger fell out of the trees with 2 giant machine guns. Rin ran behind sesshomaru and grabbed his left leg, the girl then saw them and walked over to sesshy and grabbed his face and said to him in a low, creepy voice_ "you are covered in a very white fuzz" _sesshomaru then reached for his sword but found nothing and once he looked up the girl was gone, 5 seconds later she reappeared behind him with his swords saying_ "looking for these?"**_A/N: from now on it's script format 'kay?._**

**Sesshy**: gimme my swords!

**Tiger**: graaaaaar! NO!

**Sesshy**: this sesshomaru will not tolerate this behavior!

**Tiger**: _shoots_ don't be a douchebag sesshy!

**Sesshy**: you're from that wench's era aren't you!

**Tiger**: a little further ahead

**Sesshy**: can i have my swords back?

**Tiger**: okay then, hey! since you like my era so much why don't you take a month off and stay with me?

**Sesshy**: why should i? i've been to modern day tokyo once, it's overrated

**Tiger**: i'm not from tokyo! i'm from america!

**Sesshy**: fine!

**Rin**: Yay! vacation!

**Jaken**: milord are you sure?

**Sesshy**: what's the worst that can happen?

_Tiger then jumps toward the river and tells them that the entrance to america is underwater_

**Rin**: why is it underwater?

**Tiger**: because nobody wants to go to the cesspool country

**Rin**: rin will be quiet now

**Tiger**: good idea

_Once underwater they swim through a hole and end up in New New York's sewer system, The group wanders around aimlessly until a crocodile bites the living shit out of jaken, Tiger attemps to shoot the alligator but misses completely and shoots jaken, jaken's last words were "foolish human!" Sessh decides to ressurect jaken and stabs him with his sword. The group then climbs up the ladder to the manhole. Tiger then reaches for her crowbar and opens up the manhole._

**Jaken**: are you sure about this milord?

**Sesshy**: like i said what's the worst that can happen?

_Sesshomaru is hit in the head by a hover-taxi_

**Taxi-Man**: new york accent watch where you're going or i'll shove my foot up your wazoo!

**Sesshy**: i stand corrected

**Tiger**: you'd better watch that.

**ON THE SIDEWALK SOMEWHERE**

**Rin**: points to a whored-out passerby-robot what a pretty lady

**Tiger**: THAT'S NO LADY!

**Robot Drag Queen**: Damn, chico. One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle. Why you so stupid, stupid?

**Tiger**: hey,bite my shiny metal ass!

**Robot Drag Queen**: You couldn't afford it, honey.

**Sesshy**: O.O

**Rin**: O.O

**Jaken**: smelly human!

_Tiger kicks jaken_

_And then out of nowhere bender appears_

**Bender**: wow! a man who wears makeup!

**Tiger**: hey bender, i'd like you to meet sesshomaru

_Sesshy growls at the robot_

**Bender**: how's it going meatbag?

**Tiger**: well i'm gonna go get a pack of marlboros

**Bender**: how much did he cost?

**Tiger**: he's not a whore

**Bender**: well, nice meeting you sesshomaru, i'm gonna go kill myself

**AT THE LOCAL 14-22**

_Sesshomaru is eyeballing cans of Slurm and Pepsi_

**Tiger**: yea, 2 packs of marlboros

**Clerk**: that'll be $14.95

**Tiger**: ok then _hands clerk a 20_

**Clerk**: If for any reason you're not satisfied with our service, I hate you.

**Rin**: rin wants candy!

**Tiger**: here's a 5

**Rin**: Rin is happy

**BACK IN NEW NEW NEW YORK**

**Sesshy**: this isn't so bad and nothing horrible has happened yet

_Suddenly a giant wormhole appears out of the sky and sucks everyone up in it causing everyone's limbs to fall off._

_They end up in the dimension from treehouse of horror IV, Homer 3, A/N: green lines that cross and random shapes everywhere_

**Somewhere in Iowa, a diabetic goes into insulin shock**

**Sesshy**: great, we're not in new new york anymore

**Tiger**: hey, who says we aren't..._looks around_...wow!

_a weird metallic cone like thing bounces around in the backround, numbers float around, the group walks over to a small pool of fish_

**Tiger**: mmm...unprocessed fishsticks

_The group approaches a street sign made of metallic gold_

**Sesshy**: where are we?

**Tiger looks at street sign**: well whatever the place is, it looks expensive

_The metallic cone approaches the group and gets lodged in jaken's eye, tiger then rips the cone out of jaken's eye and spikes it into the ground, the dimension starts to collapse in itself._

**Jaken**: foolish human! look what you did!

**Rin**: and the door's on the other side, the only way out is to jump

_Tiger then prepares to jump, grabbing sesshomaru in the process_, **Tiger**: hey, if i'm going, then so are you!

_Tiger and Sesshy jump and instantly fall into the black hole, cut to a dumpster on a sunny afternoon, screams are heard as Tiger and Sesshomaru are seen falling from the sky. Tiger and Sesshy fall into the dumpster and jump out, they walk to the street and continue down the sidewalk as everyone stares at them. Tiger spots a 7-11 and drags Sesshy in._

**A/N: 14-11 is a parody of 7-11**

**Please R & R give me new ideas, THE KNOWLEDGE, IT FILLS ME! IT IS NEAT!**


End file.
